Determined {uncontrolled}

Sometimes, I just have to bleed my colors, let them run where they wish, let them go on their own. Trust my art. Trust the path creation chooses on its own with little to no help from my own hand. Just pour them, set them free to express me!

There are days that feel darker than nights. They drape themselves onto us like cloaks. They drown us in our troubles, they burden us with our fears, but worse, they exhaust us. Our mental faculties frazzled, we're left feeling utterly alone and hopeless. 

It is the days like these that consume every ounce of hope we cling to in the hours we are forced to endure them. We find ourselves squeezing back tears and fighting against the desire to just give up. Throw our hands up, wave our white flag of surrender and quit!

Give up. Quit. Settle. Just learn to cope and be content with what just is. Snuff out that flame, the one that burns there in the pit of your stomach sending its warmth and excitement through the chambers of your heart, your veins, your mind, your soul! Snuff it out. The very thing that made you feel alive-like life was worth living! Like there still was hope for you. 

Snuff it. Quit. Settle. 

My mind has been in a dark place these few weeks. What I am creating is indicative of this, yet each creation is laced with bright colors of hope trying to break free. There is always hope woven through my images. I have to have it there. I need something to hold on to when I'm desperate to survive.

My colors are angry. The fury of red and emptiness of black, the confusion of dark storm-torn earth with speckled glints of gold hope. The delicate pearlescent whites and creams that speak of the gentle beauty that still resides there inside all my anger.  That unspoken promise of survival ... And that renews the hope, it rejuvenates the flame, but also serves to remind me, it's not only angry, it's determined. 



Supercritical Fluid: Pebeo Paints (Moon and Prisme). is any substance at a temperature and pressure above its critical point, where distinct liquid and gas phases do no exist. 

Subaqueous Extrusion: Pebeo Paints (Moon and Prisme).  I found inspiration in the extrusion of the lava under water; underwater volcanos.

Nacre No. 1: Pebeo Paints (Moon and Prisme). Inspiration came from the nacre, otherwise known as Mother of Pearl in shells like Abalone.
I was inspired by the iridescent nacre of abolone shells, the view of oceans from airplane ports, and eruptions of underwater volcanos. All representational of a beautiful chaos. It was the first time I've ever experimented with Pebeo paints. I used the Fantasty lines Moon and Prisme and played with pouring and drip methods. 

These works were absent of my control and that was my intention. Just let things be and happen naturally with little influence from my forceful hand. The liquid colors collided, reacted in similar fashion to oil and water but grander- like  fireworks.  Each explosion releasing swirls of patterns. It was beautiful and it embodied the struggle I feel within my soul. 


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